All of My Love
by CriminalOutsider'sGirl14
Summary: A collection of letters that Riley writes to her daughter, Emily Grace, whose life was cut too short. Will she heal, or will the memories of her only child's death haunt Riley forever?
1. Chapter 1

**All of My Love**

 **Summary : **_A collection of letters that Riley writes to her daughter, Emily, whose life was cut too short. Will Riley ever heal, or will the memories of her only child's death haunt hed forever? Slight AU._

 **A/N: Warning: May be triggering. Contains character death.** _  
_

 _Dear Emma Grace,_

 _I can't believe it's been so long since I've held you. Life hasn't been the same. I'm so sorry that I failed you that day, baby._

 _My therapist suggested that I write you. I told her I'd think about it. She thinks it'll help me or something. But I know that you ain't here anymore. I don't see how it'll help me. But, Em,_ _a mother's bond is never broken. I hope, wherever you are, you're okay. My therapist, Ms. Kincaid, thinks I'm depressed, but I disagree._ _Missing you has just been really hard._ _I hope you're doing okay missing me._

 _With all of my love,_

 _Your Mom, Riley Matthews_

 **A/n: Other installments will be longer. But they won't be like 2,000 words or anything. Please review with suggestions!**

 **Do it for Johnny y'all,**

 **\- Alee XxX**


	2. Chapter 2

**All of My Love**

 **Summary : **_A collection of letters that Riley writes to her daughter, Emily Grace, whose life was cut too short. Will she heal, or will the memories of her only child's death haunt Riley forever?_

 _ **Dear Emily Grace,**_

 _When will it ever stop hurting? When will I stop missing you? These Texas skies are lonely, Em, so freaking lonely. Pardon my French._

 _Today was a bad day, have been few good ones since that day. I can count them on one hand. You see, since the accident, your daddy and I haven't been living together. But today he came over and one thing led to another. I'm not ready to trust again. When you let people in, Em, they hurt you. They leave, even if they don't have a choice._

 _I keep replaying that day you died in my mind. The day I got the call from your daddy, telling me what had happened. I can barely bare to think about it, even now. It still haunts me in my nightmares at night. I'll never get to see you grow up._

 _I'd like to think you have my smile, and your daddy's Huckleberry heart._

With all of my love,

\- Your Mom, Riley Anne Matthews

 **Sand1128: Sounds like a deal. :) Thank you!**

 **Aliqueen16: Great job on picking up on that! Yes, she is living in Texas, and I will explain everything eventually. :) Thank you for reviewing.**

 **Do it for Johnny y'all,**

 **\- Alee XxX**


	3. Chapter 3

**All of My Love**

 **Summary : **_A collection of letters that Riley writes to her daughter, Emily Grace, whose life was cut too short. Will she heal, or will the memories of her only child's death haunt Riley forever? **RUCAS.**_

 _ **Dear Emily Grace,**_

 _It's been a while, Em. A while since I've held you. But I still think about you, a lot. I remember every wonderful moment that I have spent with you and I'm scared to forget. But I hope I'll never forget you. I know I can't forget my own child._

 _A lot has happened since I last wrote you. Your daddy has moved back into my apartment. I think we're starting to repair ourselves, our relationship. But life's pretty screwy, and we'll have to see how it goes. Wish me luck, baby. I hope you're happy right now, too. Smiling down on us._

With all of my love,

\- Your Mom, Riley Anne Matthews-Friar

 **Aliqueen16: Oh my gosh, yes. Possibly. (P.S. be prepared for a twist coming up soon... Sh!)**

 **Miss. Mint chocolate chip: Thank you!**

 **Do it for Johnny y'all,**

 **\- Alee XxX**


	4. Chapter 4

**All of My Love**

 **Summary : **_A collection of letters that Riley writes to her daughter, Emily Grace, whose life was cut too short. Will she heal, or will the memories of her only child's death haunt Riley forever? **RUCAS.**_

 _ **Dear Emily Grace,**_

 _Merry Christmas, Em. I hope you're celebrating up there with Jesus._

 _Let me tell you something, Em, about the day you died. The worst dat of my life. You see, it started out so normal. You were just about seven months old, around November, and your daddy decided to take you for a ride to the store with him. We needed milk, whole milk for you, and celery for dinner. I had been working all week and I ended up sleeping until ten, so your daddy volunteered to go get the groceries. He left about ten-thirty in his beat up maroon colored '07 Chevy._

 _He made it to the store just fine. You giggled, babbled, shrieked, and pointed to every item around. He got the milk (along with some cookies) and began the trek home with you in the backseat._

 _The drunk driver came out of nowhere._

 _As he turned, a drunk blew the read light. He hit the middle of the four door truck, the side you were on, and the vehicle you were in flipped. You flipped twice and landed in a nearby ditch._

 _Instant._

 _Broken cookies scattered the entire vehicle, including the one you had half-nibbled on your lap._

 _My hand is shaking so hard as I write this. I'm sorry, Em. I'm trying to move on but I just can't. Let me tell you about something else. There's something else I need to tell you about._

 _I went to the therapist yesterday, Em, and I told her that lately I had been throwing up a lot. She considered that it might be anxiety or something more serious and sent me to the doctor. He ran some tests, Em, I'm sorry. I can't say the word. I'm sorry._

With all of my love,

\- Your Mom, Riley Anne Matthews-Friar

 **A/N: What's wrong with Riley? Correct guessers get cookies.**

 **Sand1128: Possibly. Haha. ;) Did you enjoy this chapter, also?**

 **Aliqueen16: Haha. Thank you; I hope that you continue to enjoy my writing.**

 **Miss. Mint chocolate chip:**

 **LittleBitNerdy: It will all be told shortly, my impatient friend. :) Thank you for your questions!**

 **Do it for Johnny y'all,**

 **\- Alee XxX**


	5. Chapter 5

**All of My Love**

 **Summary : **_A collection of letters that Riley writes to her daughter, Emily Grace, whose life was cut too short. Will she heal, or will the memories of her only child's death haunt Riley forever? **RUCAS.**_

 _ **Dear Emily Grace,**_

 _I'm pregnant. I am eight weeks pregnant and I'm due in August._

 _I'm sorry that I betrayed you. That I'm not ready for another baby._

 _I'll always be your mother, Emily. Never forget that. But how long is too long to hold on? To not move on?_ **(A/N: HaHa that rhymed.)**

 _I haven't told your daddy. Wish me luck baby girl._

With all of my love,

\- Your Mom, Riley Anne Matthews-Friar

 **A/N: Man, you all got it right. I had hoped I'd made it a little less obvious than that! Obviously not. Winners are listed below. Y'all all get a thousand boxes of the best cookies! ㈏4 :) ㈏6**

 **Sand1128: Thank you so much. That's what I was going for. ;) Cookie for you.**

 **frostystuffs: Thank you! You are correct. Cookie for you.**

 **Dusk-deerfluff: Lol, I know, I am so cruel. I think I need all to sign a waver at the beginning of stories.**

 **emels637: Correct! Cookie for you.**

 **Miss. Mint chocolate chip: You are right! *hands you cookie***

 **LittleBitNerdy: Haha, your review made me laugh so hard. Both is good. Cookie for you!**

 **Guest123 (Guest): Correct! Great job. You get a cookie!**

 **Aliqueen16: Yes! And thank you for your comment on my other story. I'm glad that you enjoyed it. Cookie for you! *hands over last cookie***

 **Do it for Johnny y'all,**

 **\- Alee XxX**


	6. Chapter 6

**All of My Love**

 **Summary : **_A collection of letters that Riley writes to her daughter, Emily Grace, whose life was cut too short. Will she heal, or will the memories of her only child's death haunt Riley forever? **RUCAS.**_

 _ **Dear Emily Grace,**_

 _Your daddy called me from the hospital after the accident._

 _He was worse for wear. Broken arm, blood loss, cuts everywhere, and he had to have physical therapy on his leg, plus surgery. His ling was collapsed and he somehow had a black eye. I couldn't kiss him for a few weeks because of his split lip. Seeing him liked that killed me, but living without you was unbearable. Words can describe, sometimes I still can't, and there were times I didn't want to live at all._

 _I don't even want to think about your injuries, Em. All Lucas told me was it was instant and you were dead. I didn't need to know anymore, they said._

 _But the unknowing kills me, Em._

 _Physical therapy started years ago, but the wounds deep inside have only just started to mend._

 _How can I even begin to tell him?_

With all of my love,

\- Your Mom, Riley Anne Matthews-Friar

 **A/N: Sorry for the shortness, but I felt like it should end there. Please review!**

 **LittleBitNerdy: Thanks for telling me, Dear. Glad you enjoyed!**

 **Do it for Johnny y'all,**

 **\- Alee XxX**


	7. Chapter 7

**All of My Love**

 **Summary : **_A collection of letters that Riley writes to her daughter, Emily Grace, whose life was cut too short. Will she heal, or will the memories of her only child's death haunt Riley forever? **RUCAS.**_

 _ **Dear Emily Grace,**_

 _Today I told him, Em. I told Lucas about the baby and me being pregnant._

 _He was happy. His face lit up and he told me we were gonna be okay. He said that he had been wanting to be a family again._ _We have seven months until the baby comes. I'm still scared, and I think deep down that he is too, but he's happy. I think I might be too. I_ _hope I can be happy, Em. Two more months until we find out the gender of our baby._

 _On another note, I've been doing good in therapy lately. You know, you would be six years old now, Em. Your birthday is coming up real soon._

 _Happy sixth birthday, Emily. I love you, baby girl. So does your daddy. I wish I could be celebrating with you instead of at a cemetery._

With all of my love,

\- Your Mom, Riley Anne Matthews-Friar

 _ **Dear Emily Grace,**_

 _I used to always watch you sleep._

 _Just watching your chest rise up and down, the peaceful look on your face, I knew that you were safe, for now._

 _Premonition, maybe? A mother's intuition?_

 _All I know is that I used to watch you sleep, every night for months._

 _I got married to Lucas when I was eighteen and already pregnant. Nobody thought we were going to last. I packed up my things the summer after graduation and moved to Texas. I wasn't sleeping the greatest by time you were born due to stress, Lucas was at night school or doing online classes for vet school after work. I was lonely; so I would watch you sleep._

With all of my love,

\- Your Mom, Riley Anne Matthews-Friar

 **A/N: I decided to give you two letters since they were short. Please review! :)**

 **LittleBitNerdy: Six years old. (Approximately.) And yes she did. Thank you for reviewing!**

 **Sand1128: Smalls? I'm like dying right now! Your reviews always make me laugh. (I'm also enjoying torturing you.)**

 **Aliqueen16: Awww, thank you! I'm glad that you enjoyed.**

 **Do it for Johnny y'all,**

 **\- Alee XxX**


	8. Chapter 8

**All of My Love**

 **Summary : **_A collection of letters that Riley writes to her daughter, Emily Grace, whose life was cut too short. Will she heal, or will the memories of her only child's death haunt Riley forever? **RUCAS.**_

 _ **Dear Emily Grace,**_

 _Now, Em, what do you think about names? It's a girl. I'm having me a baby girl._

 _You know, Em, you were named after Lucas's grandmother, Emily Friar. You're my special Emily Grace and you always will be. I love you just as much as this new baby. You woulda been a big sister._

 _I think I'm happy, Em. I hope you are too._

 _Wish me luck baby girl. I'm about to take on the world. Wanna know why?_

 _Lucas proposed go me._

 _Well, I guess he didn't propose exactly. We are still married. But he got down on one knee and promised to love me and the baby. I believe him. I never stopped loving him. Hopefully it'll turn out good._

With all of my love,

\- Your Mom, Riley Anne Matthews-Friar

 **LittleBitNerdy: Yes it is. But that's why I like to write about it. And same. Thank you for reviewing!**

 **Sand1128: Haha. :) Thank you!**

 **Aliqueen16: Yes you did. And thank you for taking the time to comment! Maybe, maybe not.**

 **Miss. Mint Chocolate Chip: ;D**

 **Guest123 (Guest): She wasn't even a year old yet. About seven months old.**

 **Do it for Johnny y'all,**

 **\- Alee XxX**


	9. Chapter 9

**All of My Love**

 **Summary : **_A collection of letters that Riley writes to her daughter, Emily Grace, whose life was cut too short. Will she heal, or will the memories of her only child's death haunt Riley forever? Intertwined in these letters tells a captivating story of heartbreak, as the hope that can come from it. **RUCAS.**_

 _ **Dear Emily Grace,**_

 _It's been a few months, Em. I've been put on strict bed rest after going to the doctor. I'm really scared. What if my baby girl is hurt? I couldn't handle losing anybody else. I hope my lucky stars that she's alright._

 _One another note, I've been thinking about names with Lucas lately. What about Adeline Grace Noelle?_

 _Lucas has been being such a gentlemen to me as always. He's been bringing me breakfast in bed and has taken a few days off of work to stay with me while I'm on bed rest._

 _Love is special, Em. I wish I could've have seen you find it, see you off at your wedding in twenty years not after just months._

 _But life doesn't always work out like that, not like you want it to. It's Ups and Downs, Em. You should know that by now. I've been on a Down way too long. But Up feels pretty good after a long, heartbreaking Down._

With all of my love,

\- Your Mom, Riley Anne Matthews-Friar

 **A/N: Thank you to LittleBitNerdy for her beautiful name!**

 **Sand1128: I love your reviews. They always make me laugh! I am and proud of it! :) Thank you.**

 **LittleBitNerdy: Beautiful, Love!**

 **Aliqueen16: I'm glad that you think so. Hopefully she is! Thank you and oh ma gosh yes!**

 **All stars are connected: Thank you m'dear! I love your username. :D**

 **Do it for Johnny y'all,**

 **\- Alee XxX**


	10. Chapter 10

**All of My Love**

 **Summary : **_A collection of letters that Riley writes to her daughter, Emily Grace, whose life was cut too short. Will she heal, or will the memories of her only child's death haunt Riley forever? Intertwined in these letters tells a captivating story of heartbreak, as the hope that can come from it. **RUCAS.**_

 _ **Dear Emily Grace,**_

 _I know I always start out like this, but I'm sorry that it's been two whole months since I've written you. I've been, well... Busy..._

 _I gave birth on August 7th, 9:04 a.m. to a beautiful little girl named Adeline Grace Noel Friar. She weighed in at only five pounds three ounces, while you were born at seven pounds eight ounces._

 _She looks like you, you know. Wispy dark-blonde hair, blue eyes, and a few spots of freckles._

 _I wonder when I look at her if it's really you giving me a second chance. Giving Lucas and I another chance at being a family. I love you._

With all of my love,

\- Your Mom, Riley Anne Matthews-Friar

 **A/N: Any suggestions/requests before I begin to wrap this up?**

 **Sand1128: Yes, I do. :) There's still more in store for the Friars.**

 **Aliqueen16: Maybe... Thank you for reviewing! :)**

 **Do it for Johnny y'all,**

 **\- Alee XxX**


	11. Chapter 11

**All of My Love**

 **Summary : **_A collection of letters that Riley writes to her daughter, Emily Grace, whose life was cut too short. Will she heal, or will the memories of her only child's death haunt Riley forever? Intertwined in these letters tells a captivating story of heartbreak, as the hope that can come from it. **RUCAS.**_

 _ **Dear Emily Grace,**_

 _Happy seventh birthday. Wow, baby girl. I wonder what you look like now. Beautiful, I'll bet._

 _Do you know what matters in life, Em? Has that been what you've been trying to tell me all along? Love matters, happiness matters. You never know when it'll be your last day on Earth. Tell the ones you love that you love them! Don't waste precious time counting the time._

 _You taught you're momma a great lesson, huh, baby girl. Just like your super-cool-life-lesson-teacher Mr. Grandpa Matthews. You learned from the best._

 _In just a few short months, Adaline is going to be one. When she gets older she's going to know all about her amazing, beautiful older sister and how much she loves her. She may ask about you._

 _I hope you'll watch over all of us, Em. I'm proud of you. As always, I love you._

With all of my love,

 _\- Your Mother, Riley Anne Friar_

 **A/N: There should be at least another two chapters, but there may be a sequel. Though it will probably be in thinking non-letter form. (To fill any any blanks...?)**

 **Sand1128: You are the highlight of my day, my friend. That's why I love to write angst. How did you react to this chapter? And if I do a sequel, I will include your suggestion in!**

 **Aliqueen16: Thank you!**

 **All stars are connected: Thank you so much for your continued support. If I do a sequel, I will for sure do that for one of the chapters. :)**

 **Guest123 (Guest): Your idea sounds so interesting. If I make a sequel, I will use it for sure. Maybe as a dream. Thank you so much!**

 **LittleBitNerdy: I keep thinking about that. I'm not sure. I'm happy with how it's ended here, but I feel like I could go on... Thank you for your feedback. :)**

 **Do it for Johnny Lovelies,**

 **\- Alee XxX**


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